Last night I went visiting teaching--Taylor had class, so Isaac went with me. We went to the first lady's house--she just had her fourth child, and long story short, she has a 6-year-old daughter who is really into her new little brother, but he is still a little bit too small to be held and to play with....but....Isaac isn't!!! AHhhh....
Well, we're sitting on the couch and she is holding him and I've got my hand "ready to go" behind Isaac....just in case. My companion senses my anxiety that she kind of teases me by saying, "You a little worried Val?!" and I respond, "Oh well, just want to be there, just in case." (She's a mother of 4 under the age of 5 or 4, so she knows full well...) Well this little girl props Isaac up on her legs (so Isaac's head and shoulders aren't touching anything) and she lets go of him and goes "Look mom, he can hold his head up!" I about died!!! He's only 3 1/2 months, his head control is not perfect, he's still a "bobble head." So seriously, I know that those who have kids, or have played with nieces/nephews or have just seen people with children--what is the best way to say something in this situation? Isaac had a little burp after that and I said something to the effect of I better take him in case he spits up...(and just in defense, when the little girl took her hands off, I was right there holding him...) But, it seems to be an awkward/sticky situation when the parent is right there and not saying anything...so really, what do you say? What have you learned in your experience?? Another example--at church, some random kids will come up to Isaac and want to touch him and pat him and hug him, etc...I have no clue who they are and if they are sick or not, etc...so what is the best way to avoid these situations without acting or sounding too over protected?? Help! I need some good lines and phrases in mind for situations like these....
P.S. I've got two recipes to post....they will be coming shortly...
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6 comments:
Oh, I'm ALL over the mama bear thing. I'm not really a fan of letting any children touch HAL right now. (My nieces and nephews don't apply to this, but even with them I'm really careful)
I usually say, "You know, Hazen is still a little baby, and we have to be careful with him. I know that (insert sibling's name here) was a little bit bigger, but how about we hold off on playing with him until the summertime?
Using summer, or Christmas, or your next birthday, etc gives them a good marker so you don't have to deal with them trying to hold him every second. RSV is starting to get bad, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful with him at church.
When it's all said and done, who gives a crap if you're "rude". It's your baby, and you have to be the protector. Sometime I'll have to blog about my mama bear incident in the grocery store.
I agree with Anne, We are in the nursery at church...dangerous place to be with a baby! We just make sure no one touches her but us. Your baby's safety definitely comes before people's feelings.
Kate's 3 year old cousin was holding her over Christmas and while she was holding her she just let her go, Kate toppled over. Luckily she was on a couch. We had a little talk about how not to drop the baby, and when her cousin wanted to hold her while standing up I drew the line.
Wow, that's a pretty crazy situation--I have had plenty of those awkward moments!!! But I'm right along with the other girls--who cares if you come off rude??? I don't think we even took Ethan to church till he was 3 months old-we would take him to sacrament (probably around 4 weeks) but he stayed in his little cars eat where no one could even see him! We were hesitant to even hold him ourselves just because then, if someone did want to hold the baby or touch him--it was easy access. If he was in the car seat--it was a great excuse. But we didn't start going to all 3 meetings till he was a little bit older. One of us would just leave with Ethan and the other would stay.
You're brave for even letting that little girl hold Isaac (even though you were right there), because I definitely would not have. I try to "protect" myself from those situations. Because really, like you said, she's not your child and if her own mother didn't say anything, then what are you supposed to say?!? Plus, what did you say she was-- 6? Do you know where a 6 year olds hands have been? Did you at least tell her to go wash her hands before handling Isaac?
I'm HUGE on making people wash their hands before touching Ethan-even now-at Christmas I made sure that Scott and Jared (little brothers 11 and 12 yrs) washed before getting around Ethan. Babies are just so delicate and their immune systems are not very strong....I think I feel strongly on this because we had good friends who had twins-and they started taking the babies to church probably 2 weeks after they were born--of course the babies were passed around and 1 baby caught something and sadly, he died.....it was a horrible loss for them, and the doctor told them he must have caught something while being passed around. I think that's why Skyler and I waited till Ethan was a bit older to start taking him to church......and once we did--people were on us like stink on a monkey....I'm glad we waited!!!!
Just tell them to back off! They are kids and you are the adult. :)
Yikes! Wish I had some advice, but seeing as how I've never been in that situation, you'll have to rely on other people's replies. I can totally understand you being protective, uncomfortable, and frustrated though!
By the way, did you ever paint that mirror?
My hands started to sweat as I read this post... ugh, my first time observing Eliza in the nursery was somewhat of an alarming experience. The older children were smothering her. I bagged trying to be polite months ago. Other mom's have been there too. I have no advice. I apologize for being useless!
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